yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
