i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
