Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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