imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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