Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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