We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Redeem this text for a blowjob
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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