That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
