I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
