i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
