I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
