My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
