Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize