I wannas sexs uuuuu
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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