Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
