the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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