omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
