but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
