Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
