i was born a porn star she said
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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