Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
