im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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