I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
