the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
