Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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