Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
