i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize