Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
