what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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