I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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