Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
