she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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