ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
