I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
