So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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