Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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