If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
