He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
