man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
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Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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