I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
