I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
