Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
