PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
