Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
