everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
