it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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