I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
