Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
