I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
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she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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