thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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