i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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