Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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