i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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