you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
