He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
