Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
