she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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