it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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