Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
