I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize