is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
