Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
