can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
third nipple confirmed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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