I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
