Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
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