but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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