i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
did you just send me my own nude
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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