So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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