Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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