I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
