I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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