dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
